Heart-to-Heart

Turning 50!

In case you're wondering, I'm married to DrGreene.  We are partners in life, parenting, and on this crazy journey called, DrGreene.com.

I’m a mom.  I have three terrific teenagers and an awesome 9-year-old (more about our unique family in my blog).  I’m also a daughter of a mom who has Alzheimer’s disease.  Talk about perspective! 

I’m the Co-founder, Executive Producer, and Mama of DrGreene.com. I’m responsible for guiding the DrGreene Team and making sure we are on track. 

I just turned 50 (I know, I don't look 50 -- especially online!) and I’m celebrating my nine-year anniversary from being diagnosed with, and beating, Stage lll inflammatory breast cancer (an experience that helped me figure out my “calling,” but much more about that on my blog). 

I’m at a great time in my life and can’t wait to share my thoughts and feelings with you …

Ten Years Earlier ...

Ten years ago, after being an infertility patient, I was thrilled about being pregnant – very pregnant, but thankfully my size during pregnancy doesn’t enter into this story. Wait, you say, “Doesn’t she have three teenage kids?” Yes, I do. They have two moms -- their biological mom (who I will never replace!) and me. Over the course of a year they spend about half the time at their mom’s house and about half the time here. The four adults they refer to as “parental units” have learned to work well together and have made the kids’ best interest the over-riding factor in most (no one’s perfect) decision making. So back to ten years ago …

I loved being pregnant, but really hated my job in the corporate world. The biggest reason for my loathing was not the company I worked for, but the very fact that making money was the goal of the company. What kind of a business was that? How dare they put making money ahead of caring for people and making a positive impact on the world! As you can see, I was NEVER going to be happy in corporate America, where making money is at the heart of every job. I could spend several posts waxing on about why this is really a fine goal (in theory commerce is important for people to be able to live, after all) AND why I loathe the entire system. But that is off subject, so I will keep this blog moving.

When Austin was born, I left on maternity leave with the knowledge that I would have to go back, if not to that job, to some job with a full-time income. In the short run, I thoroughly enjoyed being a first time new mom at 40 and felt I was in the prime of my life.

What About Alan (DrGreene)?

Like me, Alan has always wanted to make a difference in people’s lives.  As a teen he spent a summer in a third-world country and worked with a nurse giving care to poor villagers.  It changed him forever and set him on the course to become a physician with a deep conviction that as a doctor he could make a profound difference in the world.

Alan studied the history and philosophy of science at Princeton and graduated in 1981.  He moved to California for medical school at University of California at San Francisco.  From there he joined the house staff at Children’s Hospital Oakland.  He was just finishing a long shift in the ER on Oct. 17, 1989 when the Loma Prieta earthquake shook the Bay Area.  When the call came for doctors to go to the Cypress Structure, Alan didn’t hesitate.  Through the nights and days that followed, Alan wove in and out of the rubble searching for survivors in the collapsed freeway.  He was profoundly shaken by the immense destruction -- another experience that deepened his desire to impact the world.

In 1993 after finishing residency, serving as chief for a year and a half, and studying as a hem-onc fellow for six months, Alan left Children’s Hospital Oakland and joined a private practice in San Mateo.  He found delight in caring for families – from the birth of their children, through illnesses, and normal development. The whole experience was rewarding.  He was absolutely energized by witnessing the birth of babies and delighted in providing care for newborns.  He soon realized that he wasn’t part of the team soon enough.  He began teaching prenatal classes at the local hospital where he connected with expecting moms and dads well before their baby was born.

By 1995 his practice was pleasantly full and he was enjoying the rich experience of caring for children as they grew.  But as he became more and more popular as a pediatrician he realized that he did not have enough time to spend with the families in his practice.  If his patients were basically healthy kids, he might not see them for long stretches and then when he did see them their time together was limited by the economic constraints of running a medical practice.  Beyond annual physicals and sports physicals, families were hesitant to make an appointment to discuss non-urgent issues.  He was often not a part of the family’s life at pivotal times.  His input was not available during critical development and health decision-making situations.  What could he do to change this seemingly grid locked situation?

And DrGreene.com was born …

Shortly after Austin was born, parents of one of Alan’s patients suggested he begin a Web site where he could address parents’ non-urgent questions then archive them for all his patients to read.  Now, in the post information-age era, that doesn’t seem like a cutting edge idea, but in 1995 no physician had offered such a service.  In fact, the AMA cites DrGreene.com as the first physician web site!  Keep in mind that the very first web browser, Netscape, launched in 1995 and Internet Explorer was still on the drawing board at that time.

We applied for a grant from Silicon Graphics and received hardware, software, training, and graphics support (no actual cash).  The plan was for Alan to answer questions from his patients and for me to post them to the Web site.  I loved the idea of working from home and focusing my web site activities around Austin’s schedule. We decided that we would “try” running a Web site as a business.  We set the goal of recovering my salary so I would not have to go back to corporate America (see previous post if that doesn’t make sense to you) by the time Austin was one year old.  I set up the SGI workstation on the kitchen table and within a few months we opened the virtual doors to DrGreene.com.

Alan began distributing the web site address to his patients and encouraging them to ask the questions they wish they had time to ask in the office.  Each night after his normal office routine and the kids were tucked in for the night, he wrote.  As he did, a new dynamic emerged.  His patients felt there was an open door, day and night, to ask the questions that were important to them.  Before they came to office visits they would get online and read what Alan had written about their situation (perhaps originally for someone else).  When they arrived at the visit they already had background knowledge and were able to spend the time they had together discussing the specifics they needed addressed about their child.

But something unexpected happened.  DrGreene.com began showing up on search engines and people from all over the world found us.  They wrote in with their questions and the virtual door to DrGreene’s practice widened.

I had the wonderful opportunity to read all the questions people sent to the web site.  I was amazed by all the grateful replies from parents who were finding the answers to their most difficult questions. It felt like we had stumbled onto the very thing that we had been born to do.  I remember saying to Alan that I felt so happy and fulfilled – I was in the relationship I’d always dreamed of, I had a beautiful baby, and a job that I loved!

Then Something Very Profound Happened…

On March 22, 1996 I was diagnosed with Stage III, High Risk, Inflammatory Breast Cancer.  The prognosis was grim.  We visited UCLA for a second opinion, then Stanford for a third opinion.  The myriad of doctors didn’t agree on a course of treatment, but they did agree that the outlook was extremely poor.  My oncologist told us to prepare for the worst and estimated that even with aggressive treatment I would probably not be alive to see the New Year. 

What a blow.

We were faced with some very difficult decisions.  Medically we opted for aggressive chemo to begin treatment, followed by surgery, then radiation and chemo together, and then if I was still alive, more chemo.  With that decision behind us, we had to determine how we should spend our limited time together.  The decision was easy for me.  I “caught” that this new entity, called DrGreene.com, was impacting lives all around the world.  I also realized that if I died it would be very difficult for Alan to continue to provide his wisdom online.  We were (and still are) a team.  He wrote.  I created the world where his writing lives.  And in that world parents from around the globe find answers that empower them as advocates for their children’s health and development.  Without hesitation I asked Alan to spend, what might be our last months together, writing because I felt it was the most powerful thing we could do.  Of course we spent time together and as a family, but we didn’t travel to all the places that I’d longed to see, but now might never have the chance.  We didn’t indulge in leisure activities.  We worked – together.  And in the working we found inspiration, meaning, and joy.

I’m pleased to say that today, nine years later, I have a totally clean bill of health.  But that experience was like the refiners fire – the things that were of little value melted away leaving the things of true value.

Just When We Thought We'd Recovered …

Then on Jan. 29, 1999 Alan was in a serious automobile accident.  He was forced to slow down on a freeway exit ramp as the traffic in front of him became snarled, but the driver of the delivery truck behind him didn’t realize the traffic was changing speed.  The truck rammed into Alan from behind causing bones to fracture in the C4 and C5 area. Over the next several days, as we tried to determine the extent of his injury, Alan began losing strength in his left arm, his dominant arm.  He was in constant pain. Nothing seemed to help and neck surgery became inevitable.

Alan’s recovery period was very difficult.  Of course he could not see patients. But as soon as he could he went back to writing.  During his convalescence he had an “ah, ha” moment.  He realized that as much as he loved being at the birth of babies, and as much as he treasured nurturing families as their children grew, he could impact more lives in a week online than he could in his whole life in private practice. 

When his prescribed recovery period was over he tried to go back to the office.  Before his injury he had not realized what a physical job he’d had, but now examining every normal squirming toddler sent pain shooting through his neck and shoulders.  It took him two days off to recover from the pain of one day in the office.  After much anguish he decided to leave private practice to write as much of the time as he possibly could.  Of course he could not give up all direct face-to-face patient care so he continues to see patients and teach residents at Stanford’s Lucille Packard Children’s Hospital about 20% time. 

But if DrGreene.com couldn’t even provide my salary, how could it support us totally?

Now What?

The years from 1999 until now have been extremely interesting, to say the least!  We've tried many, many ways to fund DrGreene.com - always with the over-riding charter that it must remain accessible to anyone.  The site has grown beyond our wildest dreams!  We now have over 2 million page views each month and are rated in the top 50,000 Web sites of any kind! 

Providing access to health wisdom is our passion, but we are at a crossroads.  In order to continue to offer this service we have to find a way to offset the costs associated with the site.  But we aren't satisfied with just continuing to do what we've done for the last ten years!  We want to grow DrGreene.com!!!

Until now, we've avoided banner ads.  We have not wanted our readers to be required to view advertising to get the information they are looking for.  We've also avoided subscription services, because we do not want barriers for anyone who is searching for help.  For the first time we are seriously considering these options:

1. Place tasteful banner ads at the top and right side of every page.  We would not allow pop-ups, pop-under, or fly-over ads.
   or
2. Charge a micro-payment to use the site.  We don't know how large the amount would be, but something that would not be a burden for most people.  We would also offer a way for people to use the site who really cannot afford even a micro-payment.  We would have a button that says something like,  "If you can not afford this small amount, please click here.  Someone else will pay for you to use this site."

We Need You to Tell Us What You Think…

Okay, I've told you our story and now we need your help.  Please, please tell us what you think:

1. Would you be put off by banner ads? Or do you think the site would be enhanced by banner ads?
2. Would you consider the content to be less accurate if there were banner ads on the site?
3. Do you think people should have free access to the site or would a small monthly or annual payment be better than banner ads?
4. If you think a small payment is preferable to banner ads, what do you think the payment amount should be?

We're listening.  Please, please give us your honest feedback!